Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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