I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
