if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
