is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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