She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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