I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
