By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
