My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
