I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
