Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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