Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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