Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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