I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I could fuck to npr.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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