The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
did you just send me my own nude
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
