In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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