We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
