if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
