didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
