it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Randomize
