Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
