If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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