i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
