I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
