i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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