Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
