he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
