I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
