You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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