Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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