let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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