New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
