is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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