Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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