Non-Jews are for practice
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
