I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
