I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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