Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
