She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
