So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Randomize
