You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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