I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
