he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
