where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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