You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
