How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
