You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
