shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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