plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
