woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
porn star boner night. come get it.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
