Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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