Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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